Fake Craigslist ads. I should just put them up.
For Sale - Hopes and Dreams
This is a SALVAGE sale with NO Guarantee! These items will be DOA it's up to you to fix or repair. The Hopes have been dashed and need a lot of work. The dream has been shattered but was a big dream and quite interesting when new. I will also throw in a broad vision that is still pretty clear. Remember these are broken or damaged hopes and dreams but if you've got ample desire you should have no problem putting them back together.
Will the guy who stole my car please bring it back. I need the bodies that are in the trunk. At least take them out before they start to stink. If I ever get the car back I don't want it stinking like dead old lady.
Dude who wants his old lady parts. My neighbor's dog got in the car and made a mess of the bodies, do you still want them or should I just dump them?
Want to make more money? Currently looking for suckers to give me money in trade for a pack of lies and some sketchy past expiration Herbal supplements. Previous bamboozlement not needed. Applicants with healthy ignorance and naive show preference. Make as much money as I want to!
Would the guy who told my fat neighbor she looked good in the Lycra bike shorts please rescind his comment. My dogs won't get off the porch to pee.
Information leading to the arrest and conviction of my Ex-Girlfriend. She must be guilty of something. Help a brother out.