Monday, July 31, 2006

The one where Chad talks about weird stuff on Star Trek

I like William Riker, but man, sometimes he really makes me upset. Take for example episode 10 of season 2 ,"The Dauphin" In the opening act young Wesley Crusher has just been smitten by a young woman. While she is walking away, Crusher asks Riker who she is and where she's from. Riker says to him, "I doubt she'll have time for you Wes, she'd destined to rule an entire world"

Wow, what an unnecessary cock block.

What gives Riker? Riker always seems to get the ladies and then, when its time for poor lil'wes to find a friend he's all negative Nancy. It's bad enough Wes had to wear the same pajama uniform all the time. Wes had to go ask Warf for advice.

Ok, so then the scene comes up in 10 forward. Riker hits on Whoopi Goldberg to try and help Wes learn how to talk to women. Man that was ugly. I threw up a little in my mouth.
I just want to know, why did William put such a downer on the Wes man? In the end the Alien girl was a weird energy shape shifting being. I guess its possible that Riker knew something was up and that she was not the kind of space chick for Wes. If thats the case, Riker is still the man.

Another episode. Different subject matter. Season two, episode 15. Not a Wes thing in particular but when he goes to the geologist's workspace I noticed something about the room. It looked like a basement closet, near the boiler.

What a load that guy got. Imagine his surprise when he got his Star Fleet papers. Congratulations, your next assignment will be on board the flagship of Star Fleet. The most remarkable vessel ever created. A legend. A thing of wonder. The grand ship.

Oh but wait. Your workspace is way down back just below the uniform washing room. It'll take you thirty minutes to get there, even by turbo lift. It also is the spot Warf has chosen to do his nasty Klingon business. The floor is the outer skin of the ship. Don't worry though, in the event of a hull breach, you'll be the first to know. Wave at us as you float past the rest of the cool kids in 10 forward.

By the way. You must be some kind of jerk to sign up to Star Fleet to study rocks. I'm sure he probably regrets it. Come on, rock hounds don't get phazer action. When was the last time you saw a geologist added to the away team?

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