Tuesday, July 25, 2006

The one where Chad does a Christmas episdode

The Christmas Episode “The Power Glove”

Whenever someone rolls out a new tech gadget or gaming system I almost always think back to one particular Christmas. The Christmas during which I received my Nintendo Power Glove.
I, along with a million other Nintendo players had seen it in the film "The Wizard". We played back and paused every frame. We scrutinized and supposed at what power and greatness the glove would hold. Could this be the tool for mastering the unwinable levels? Could I actually win at Contra without Up Up, Down Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Select, Start? Could I actually win at Ikari Warriors without A, B, B, A? Would it be the coolest thing since learning the “Justin Bailey” code? Would we become digital kings in an 8 bit world ? Was this the awesomest gadget EVER?
No. As it turns out it was a load. It was the suckiest suck that ever sucked.

The L framed sensors fell off the TV, you had to cut and split tendons to get your fingers to contort to the desired commands. One particular feature I had craved was slow motion. I knew it would be the answer to all my problems. As it turned out, all it did was send a rapid fire “Start” signal to pause and un-pause the game. I felt cheated. Forget trying play along side your buddy and his power glove. That never worked. The biggest suck? What fat little Nintendo playing jerk has the ability to hold his fat little hand straight out at a damn TV long enough to win at anything?
Some 17 years later I still have my Power Glove. After 17 years, the guilt of begging my parents to buy me the mostawesomest thing in the world still hangs over my head.
Oh what it almost was. My Nintendo Power Glove.

No comments: