Monday, July 24, 2006

The one where Chad starts internet rumors

In an effort to understand the dynamics of an Internet / email rumor I've decided to start some of my own fake, false and downright stupid rumors. Please, feel free to copy these into your next spamming to your friends. Also, change whatever you want. The “facts” are not important. I don't know how this will help me understand how the rumors work but it was fun to write.

1. Lebanese children are using Tomato's as an explosive against the Israeli troops. When combined with laundry detergent they become a deadly produce of mass destruction.

2. A woman was in an elevator when three black men entered. The smallest black man said “Hit the floor lady” and she instinctively got on the floor of the elevator. Later she found her hotel room had been ransacked and a note was left. It said “Don't be a bigoted stereotyping fool” Signed. Mr. T.

3. You should boycott Campbell's soup! For years Campbell's soup has been alienating Christians by putting less noodles in its popular “Chicken Noodle Soup”. Just buy a can and see for yourself! They have also taken an anti-American stance and are using “communist” red on the soup labels.

4. I saw an elderly American the other day standing in front of a magazine rack. As he stood there scanning the various covers of all the filth and depravity I noticed a tear come to his eye. I couldn't help but wonder what was bothering him, although I thought I already knew. I approached him and put my arm around his shoulder. He looked at me from behind wet eyes and smiled. I just nodded my head and said, “I know, I know”. I'll never forget what I heard him say as I walked away. “All these magazines will be bought and the people who buy them could have gotten what they really needed from” Signed, Andy Rooney and George Carlin.

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