The one where Chad gets sick

I had one of those moments today. One of those “Boy am I glad it's Thursday and I'm almost done with the week” moments.

For those of you who are calender aware you'll note that it is not Thursday but rather Wednesday. What a kick in the teeth that was. Now I feel more miserable and more sick. I hope I don't come up to an old building thats on fire with kids trapped in it. I don't think I could get Johnny out after the beam falls on him. Sorry Johnny your going to die. In the end, that's o.k. because you die anyway and Dally might no knock off that liquor store.
Oh boy, I can see I'm fading in and out of fiction / nonfiction here so I better go. I also have to put my ping pong ball helmet on, take my motorcycle and go find an Aspirin for Keith. Then Ron and Hermione and I need to go to Narnia, where the red fern grows, and pick up some dog bones for Sounder.

I wanted to save this file as wed/thur but could not because the slash made it look like it was a path to a directory. Ack, how did I not know it would do that? And man, I hate that when I copy and paste from OpenOffice.org into blogger it freaks out. If it does this time, I'm leaving it.

The one where Chad talks Futurama

I feel like I'm kind of mailing it in today. I'm sick. I don't want to write. I'm a grown up and I can do what I want. Here is a generally boring post. Stop, no jokes about why that's no different than usual.

One of my favorite comedic techniques is something called "the omni and the caper" (at least that's what I heard on a DVD commentary)
Futurama is king of this. (also the commentary I heard it on)

Take for instance, the episode where Hermes gets demoted and steps onto the ledge to commit suicide. ("How Hermes requisitioned his groove" back Season 2 Episode 24)

paraphrased-
He says he's going to jump
They crew yells NO, DON'T JUMP / It's not worth it etc.
Just as the crowd / omni exclamation is tailing off, Bender says
"Do a flip" for the caper.

The timing is brilliant .

I wish I could figure out how to accomplish it in writing. Or in real life.

*edit* How about that horrible formatting around the image? I love the squishy.

The one where Chad kills a bug

I'm a big fan of things being used outside the intended purpose. I really love when it works and doesn't cause me harm.
I was sitting here at my desk and a wasp flew in. I quickly grabbed a can of 3M Dust remover and held it upside down, exactly like the can says not to. I knew about the freezing spray from prior dust remover expeditions. I let the wasp have it. I froze him like Han Solo, except this time there would be no droid to point out the obvious. Hey, no Jabba jokes!

Few minutes later I saw this guy hanging on my window screen.

By the way. It's Autumn and I could show you pretty foliage but I chose bugs instead.

Also, here is a good thing to do with a can of dust remover.

1. Insert air thing longer. (if you have one)
2. Get straw style coffee stirrer.
3. Tape end of said stirrer
4. Slide stirrer over end of thing longer
5. Shoot out eye of person in next cubicle.
6. Run.

I wanted to put up some pictures of the "Straw gun" but if you can't figure it out, you shouldn't be shooting stuff anyway.

The one where Chad speaks ill of Columbus Day

Before I go off on Chris C. I would like to take a moment to pause and reflect on North Korea and its new toy. The rest of the blogosphere is doing it, I should. Hold please.

Ok. The hold please was for me to step away from the keyboard and get punched in the face for using the word "bl*g*sph3r3" I hired this guy months ago to take a whack at me when I use it. Glad he's earning his keep finally.

On to Korea. I have a neighbor who has a very loud street bike. This neighbor likes to ride his street bike right when I want to go to sleep at night. He races it about a mile away and then races back. I think from the sounds of it, he's testing it. Well, his testing pisses me off. Up and down the street, that bike just blatting away. The one consolation is that I know he'll probably leave a bolt loose and injure himself on the bike. Same goes for North Korea. Someday, somebody is going to leave a spanner wrench in the nose cone and blamo. No more annoying neighbor. I guess its not exactly the same. But thank goodness he's no nuclear scientist.

Ok, on to Columbus day.

I hate Columbus day. What's the point?

Columbus was just doing his job. He was an explorer, he had that queens money and he did what he was supposed to do. Enough. It should be noted that he found a continent that already had people living on it. Ask them how that "Find" turned out for them.
I do my job every day and I do it moderately well. Where's my holiday? And why does Sears think that a Columbus Day sale is going to make me want to buy a new washer? Hey, when I want a new washer or some over priced electronics I'll come see you on my day .
We really should be celebrating somebody like Curt Schilling. I know, it was two years ago. Come on, his foot was bleeding. How many of us show up to work like that? None. Yes, yes, I know about the special woman time. Curt Shilling should be taught right along side of all those other important people.
What are we teaching our children when we lift up someone like Christopher Columbus and we give him his own special day? A better choice might be Captain Jean Luc Picard. That's another guy who deserves a day of his own. Man, he went above and beyond his day job that for sure.



How'd you like how I went a little off the deep end with the Picard reference? I went loopy with Curt but the Picard was just for that extra umph.

Plan 4
North Korea
Columbus
Korea

Fake news by Chad #12

Googleville -


Internet gigantica Google is on the verge of consuming, with its all powerful jaws of search, overpriced internet hooker Youtube. Speaking anonymously, D Todd Eberso__ of Google INC. Said that the move was less about Youtube and more about the videos being done by Plan 4.

"What google wants and needs is to be in the Plan 4 business. We want them. passionately. We don't get anything they say or do but that Mr. Vintage is pretty damn awesome."

When it was pointed out to them that the Plan4 blog in fact already uses the Google owned Blogger service and most images used on the site were stolen via Google image search, Todd shrugged.

"Really?" he said. "It makes no difference. Now we will have them both in 'word' and 'video'. Google likes it both ways. All hail the mighty and powerful Google. "

If and when Google takes over Youtube will it make it suck as bad as Google Video?

"No comment. But, yeah, it probably will"

Plan 4
Google
Google Youtube
Youtube

The one where Todd has an ismasm

I have to say that even though orgasm and sarcasm don't ryhme, they are in the short list of words ending in -asm for sure. There's TONS of words eding in -ism. You can even make up words just by adding the ism and coin a whole new word. The ism suffix is unversal but the asm suffix is quite select. Like, for instance, I could say that the title gags we use "The one where Chad . . ." is a plan4ism. But when you read a post or view a fabulous youtube here you don't say oh, ooooh I just had a plan4asm, that would be gross. You can use ism for any religious group you can think of just by adding the ism. Try that with the asm, like say, Catholisasm, that one gives me the creeps.

The one where Chad talks about antennas

Fall is here.

With the arrival of autumn comes another special time of the year.

A little known tradition among the "Non Cable Elite" is a special set of games. The semi annual Antenna Games! If you live in the sticks as I do, you depend on what's called an "Antenna" to receive what is called "Over the Air television". Its a magical process in which television signals are sent OVER THE AIR without cables of any kind! The problem is that it takes years of skill and practice to be able to catch and view these magical signals.

I myself enter into the "chuck the roof antenna into a tree" competition. I have an insane fear of heights so I don't want to go on the roof. Every fall, and sometimes when the Super Bowl is on a crappy station, I chuck the antenna as high up into a tree as I can. Then I live with the crappy reception for a few months until the wind blows it down and I do it all over again.
The second event I take part in is the "Antenna building speed" competition. In this even you start building an antenna contraption thirty minutes before the show you want to watch comes on. This year, I wired 8 feet of speaker wire onto a standard rabbit ear and Coax adapter just in time to catch the premier of "The Office".

Last nite was the premier of "Lost". For this event I only entered into the "speed tuning" competition. In that one, you get the station to come in as good as possible in the two minutes of commercials before the show. You have to be careful, one false move can render the reception useless.

*Edit* Well, the results are in and I'm proud to say I didn't screw up! I'm A WINNER!
OH, and yeah, last nights show was awesome.

Plan 4
Lost

The one where Chad does the PLAN 4 100th POST!

For a special treat, here is a small sample of the work we do here.
What you will see is an on camera test of two individuals who we are looking at as regulars.



Youtube
You tube
Plan 4
Video

The one where Chad pukes on himself

V. You are such a whore. You'll do anything for a little cash. I was poking around Myspace and what did I find? Just when you thought the "True" ads had gone pretty far. Sick.

*Edit* I found another one later on this morning.




Plan 4
Myspace

PLAN 4 SPECIAL BETA TESTi

Try out our the BETA VERSION of our new Chose your own adventure! (or Pick a Path if you had those ones).


Here goes,

You walk into the dark room. You can smell a faint gas smell. You fear turning on the lights for fear of explosion. You're fear of the monsters that lurk in the dark is also weighing on your mind. What would father do?

What will you do?

Turn and leave, I think the gas is dangerous!

Turn on the lights I need to see what's in here!

The one where Chad forgot he didn't have the correct IEEE 1394 adapter

Today is a rare Plan 4 tech post. It was going to be a funny Youtube video but I forgot that in order to capture the video onto my laptop, I needed a cable with two small ends. So, I'll get it tomorrow. Maybe.

In other tech news, I finally got Mandriva 2006 (Powerpack, I'm a card carrying club member) working at 95% on my laptop. I say 95 because there are a few things that are and will remain driverless. I've been running it for a while now but only recently did I undertake the task of getting PPP up and running. I was fortunate in that my modem was supported. That's the real problem with Linux to me. I'm sure people would use it more but as I've said a million times before, Average Joe Dialup needs his winmodem to work. The same can be said for Perky Patty Printsalot and Game addict Glen. I should point out that its not this way for lack of effort by the Linux community, the vendors could be stepping up a little more. Cough, my SD Card won't work, Cough, Toshiba, Cough.
Mandriva 2007 has added some cool stuff that may win some of these hessitant folks over. Mandriva now will be packaged with Cedega, a gaming engine / Windows emulator. Now you can play World of Warcrack on your Linux box and ensure that you will never meet a woman that doesn't have pixelated skin. Also included is LinDVD. You can read about some of the new Mandriva goodies here .




Mandriva

Linux

P4 Month in Review: September

Sat.03: Chad and Son of Chad do a lost spoof.

Sun.04: Chad's tribute to Steve "Crocidile Hunter" Irwin.

Mon.05: Man in Fire answers more fan mail.

Tue.06: Man appears but refuses to answer the mail. But the fire was especially big on this one, due to a good "air supply".

Wed.07: Chad gets nostalgic about "Better off Dead" and Mr. Vintage makes his very surly Plan 4 debut.

Thur.08: Chad gave an instant buzz phrase template. Virgin is the new whore, good one.

Fri.09: Chad measures the pros and cons of being a celebrity. Ever since the debut of the mouse movie, we've been on the Q list, nice, working our way up. Be sure to catch us next week, on the way down.

Sat.10: Chad discusses sailing and, well, math. What a friggin nerd.

Sun.11: August recap.

Mon.12: Todd's YouTube premiere. The one that started it all off. "The Stick"

Tue13: Another YT post from Todd of the great vacation prank hatched by Chad.

Wed.13: Mr. Vintage wastes NO time making his own YT video.

Thur.14: Chad and Mr. Vintage collaborate on a post.

Fri.15: Chad rants about Trailer city and poor customer service. Blog Post is the new Shooting Spree.

Sat.16: Chad discovers that Red Bull gives you, not only wings, but penis envy.

Sun.17: Reports of Man in fire's death are greatly exaggerated by Mr. Vintage in a YT post.

Mon.18: Chad fights to the finish, coz he eats his spinach.

Tue.19: Todd wonders how the Parker Bros. can live with themselves, after their years of carnage.

Wed.20: "LAST DANCE" After a long post-production period, the long awaited world premiere of Todd and Chad's first short feature. We had a location, a cast, even craft services, if you can call a bag of Funyuns and a bottle of Mountain Dew craft services. This was the defining moment for the month of September. we know that the movie is not going to win any awards unless they give awards for most homages (rip-offs) in a 7 minute short, but we are proud of it nonetheless.

Thur.21: Chad fans the flames of the E Coli scare. And takes a lame shot at Bush or Chavez, I'm not sure which.

Fri.22: The Crying Indian makes a return and appears in a YT post about the dangers of litter in our atmosphere.

Sat.23: Todd digs up some old relics from an old school "blog".

Sun.24: Chad reminds us about the Misfits of Science and how there really is nothing new under the sun.

Mon.25: Todd is "outed" by Mr. Vintage.

Tue.26: The one where Chad posts a picture of his album of Racist Ring tones.

Wed.27: Chad's confession of his ill-gotten calc watch and his intentions to make amends. Good on ya Chad!

Thur.28: Chad steals from Todd or Letterman, I'm not sure which.
Fri. 29: Todd got a new job, no post. Chad had soccer games to attend, no post. Mr. Vintage was three sheets to the wind, thank goodness, no post.

Sat.30: Todd ended the month with a little nostalgia about his Saturday
morning cartoon regimen from when he was a kid.

The one where Todd realizes that the blogger spell check is useless

October has arrived, and the "frost is on the pumpkin" as it were. This is the time of year I get nostalgic for some reason. I remember learning in school about jack-o-lanterns, but I don't remember any of it, so I thought I would actually do some research. I didn't know whom I could ask about such a thing, so I just asked people that I ran across in everyday life.
I had an appointment with my bank manager, and I explained to him that forgot how the jack-o-lantern came to be, and he chided me and said,"don't try and change the subject sir" and then he began to yell at me about my checking account constantly being overdrawn. He explained it to me this way, it seems I have been depositing in Celsius and spending in Farenheight.

I then had to go to my lawyer and while I was there I asked him about the pumpkin thing and he explained the whole thing to me in a really long drawn out explanation. He used a lot of big words and when it was all done, he charged me 300 bucks! I wrote him a check.
I then decided to try it first hand, you know, learn by doing. So I went to my local pumpkin patch. This is a weird concept too, I mean, I had to trudge out into this field, get dirty and sweaty, pick it out my self, pick it up myself, and lug it back to the farm stand myself and they charge ME 15 bucks! I wrote him a check too.
I get this thing home and I start to carve. First I cut a circular hole in the top then I look inside and see the goop and seeds I am supposed to now scoop out. That is about as far as I got, I would sooner perform a body cavity search on Larry the cable guy, then scoop this gunk out.
I have come to the realization that the jack-o-lantern is a creation of the pumpkin growers association to move more product. I mean, what else are you going to use a pumpkin for anyway. Pumpkin pie? Is there a more mediocre substance on the planet? Pumpkin pie is the synonym for mediocrity. It's a vehicle for nutmeg is what it is! Pumpkin pie is just an excuse to eat nutmeg and clove and cinnamon. The best pumpkin pie you ever ate wasn't that much better than the worst pumpkin pie you ever ate. Jack-o-lantern is just a tradition started by greedy corporate fat cats whose soul purpose in life is to line their pockets with my money! I'll beat them in the end, though. I'll pay by check.