Wednesday, August 02, 2006

The one where Chad first unfurls his Plan

The "Plan 4" plan for world wide blog supremacy by popularity.
(cool sentence. I wanted a comma but am not versed in correct comma usage.)

First we get the geeks.

Plan 1. Gain world wide acceptance by the mathematic community. I've got time and a calculator. I'll come up with a solution to this, Fermat's Last Theorem that only takes up a couple paragraphs. Nothing as large as that thing Wiles came up with.

If an integer n is greater than two, then an + bn = cn has no solutions in non-zero integers a, b, and c.

Plan 2. Entangle geeks everywhere with blogged cat stories and open Schrödinger's box in a world wide Youtube broadcast event.

Plan 3. Tell jokes about popular theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking. “Stephen Hawking's chair breaks down outside this farmers house” or “Stephen Hawking walks into a bar...” or “Stephen Hawking's accent is hard to nail down, he must be from the mid-western US...”

PLAN 4. P Vs. NP the final showdown! the 2006 hyperextreme-bowl-championship-grudge match cup..

Really though, does Plan 4 want the kind of Riff Raff that would be drawn in by this? We'd have all kinds of jerks hanging around. I mean, real nerds. They are not going to want to sit around and laugh at poop jokes. Also, while it may be fun to hear stories about math department hijinks, in truth, once you hear one physicist talk about his first time you've heard them all. Hey buddy, if you can't bring me something new with string theory I don't want you in the house. That's right. Keep your junk outside.
Forget the math nerds. Let's try for the medical community. Todd, come up with some ideas.

Here is one more math nerd joke I made up.

What do Edward Witten and a dumb blond have in common?

A: They are both made up of strings but neither can prove it.

I don't know what that means. It just sounded smart. Perhaps because it puts Witten and the supposedly less than average intelligence (but far more attractive I'm sure) blond on the same level.

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