The one where Chad eats an MRE he found in the dump

I work long hours at a landfill. One day I found 5 MRE's (Meal Ready to Eat) They are the rations the US uses for its troops. They have a pretty long shelf life. I ate them. This was posted two weeks ago and I'm glad to say it all worked out fine. Oops, I guess that's a spoiler...


I found 5 MRE's in the dump. They are ten years old. I ate the Oatmeal cookie bar and I enjoyed it. It was very good.

Pretty gross huh? Probably not! If you only knew the dust and dirt that I breath in as well as the junk that's most likely on my hands you'd think that was grosser. The MRE's are really wrapped and sealed well. The MRE is sealed well. I ate tea oatmazx cooklllll.



Kidding.

I might go all the way with this... (ellipse)

I don't think I'll try the mixed fruit but I'm tempted to eat the Chili and Macaroni entree. From what I've read the flavor and nutritional value is what is affected by age. Followed by something about making one sick. 10 years is not uncommon for an MRE. Right? I read it on the internets so it must be true.

Ok, here goes

It's bland. I don't taste any poison. I kind of like it. I wish I had not eaten the desert first though. I think the accessory bag has Tabasco sauce. LETS SEE!

WOW Inside the accessory bag is sugar, coffee, salt, moist towelette, matches, non dairy creamer toilet paper (not enough for my needs), Gum and two Tootsie Rolls! The Tabasco sauce isn't red, its tan. That's not right. I'll try the salt.

Mmm, ten year old macaroni and chili. Its good for the soul. I finished it.

I'm looking hard at that package of BEVERAGE BASE POWDER ORANGE FLAVOR. What the heck? The hard part is over!

It mixes poorly. It tastes medicine. It kind of tastes like a new band aid. It goes out the window.

Moving quickly to the Tootsie roll. It tastes strange at first but its not white like old Christmas stocking seed candy. Once I got it chewed and gooey its taste leveled out. I ate both.

What's left. Crackers. I'm sure these are fine. But I've had them before and they are to dry without jelly. Jelly. Ok, I have jelly but it has a bad omen to it that I can't explain same for the mixed fruit. Cocoa powder. I'm sure this is ok too.

Well there you go. If this experiment does not work out. I'm sorry. Todd you can have the other MRE's.



UPDATE!

I ate the crackers. The jelly did smell kind of fermenty. I got the MRE heater too so that means loud bang makers!

UPDATE!!

I chewed the gum. Mmmm, spearmint.

UPDATE!!!

I'm putting the matches in the bathroom