I have still not received my Counting Crows “August and Everything After” CD. If you remember, I wrote about it a while ago. It was stolen from my wedding reception 10 years ago. I thought I'd get the ball rolling.
I stole something when I was in the third grade. It was sometime in the neighborhood of 1983 or 84. I was always a decent kid I think, I didn't normally steal or go out of my way to cheat somebody out of something. It just sort of happened. We were lined up at the doors ready to go out to recess. A teacher commanded our attention and asked a simple question.
“Did anyone lose a watch on the playground?
I don't know why, but I raised my hand and said I had. I hadn't.
She then asked the logical thing of me. “Can you describe it?”
I blurted out, “Yeah, it was a calculator watch. She reached in her pocket and handed me a calculator watch. No more questions. I was not the owner of an ill begotten calculator watch. What were the odds? In hindsight, quite high as the 80's were prime time for calculator watches.
It goes without saying that the real owner found themselves missing a watch. The lie got deeper and deeper and I found myself worried sick about. I'm sure the watch had been a gift and I knew they missed it. I didn't know how to get out of the lie. I never got caught. To this day I still feel bad about claiming the watch. I also remember who it had belonged to. With that said, I'm buying one on Ebay right now and will seek out this person, 20+ years later and give it to them. Heidi G. Prepare to get your watch back.
Yeah, I know there are some nicer more expensive watches. I'm just trying to replace one I took, not become a friggin saint. Oh yeah, I'm also going to give it to them after I'm done using it in a couple shots for a short I'm working on. I got it used in 84' so will they!
Patient Zero has been found in the frightening E-coli scare. Investigators have narrowed the hunt for the source of the deadly bacteria to one man. Todd Eberson, a migrant worker from Massachusetts working in southern California spinach packing plant. As it turns out, Mr. Eberson's lack of personal hygiene is the cause. For the few weeks he worked at the unnamed plant, Mr. Eberson had not been washing his hands after using the bathroom. When asked why he wasn't cleaning his hands he stated that the soap the company provides makes his hands dry and itchy.
“If it was such a big deal to wash my hands, why didn't anyone tell me? We should have seen a video on that or something.”
It is not known at this time whether charges will be pressed against Mr. Eberson. He has since been shown the video and is under strict bathroom use monitoring.
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Patient Zero has been found in the frightening E-coli scare. Investigators have narrowed the hunt for the source of the deadly bacteria to one man. Todd Eberson, a migrant worker from Massachusetts working in southern California spinach packing plant. As it turns out, Mr. Eberson's lack of personal hygiene is the cause. For the few weeks he worked at the unnamed plant, Mr. Eberson had not been washing his hands after using the bathroom. When asked why he wasn't cleaning his hands he stated that the soap the company provides makes his hands dry and itchy.
“If it was such a big deal to wash my hands, why didn't anyone tell me? We should have seen a video on that or something.”
It is not known at this time whether charges will be pressed against Mr. Eberson. He has since been shown the video and is under strict bathroom use monitoring.
Popeye.
Did you ever see popeye eat a bag of spinach? No! It was canned spinach! We went astray. Turn back to the old way's of canned spinach goodness! Why didn't we listen? We all watched him squeeze open cans and suck it up with his pipe. We saw the strength and the wonders he did, but still we turned from the way's we knew. Repent and go back to the can! 109 allready. How many more must become sick?
