Wednesday, September 27, 2006

The one where Chad does a top ten

I posted this once twice three times. Blogger ate it then puked it back up again. If this post sucks, thats why. Not me.

I never write top ten lists because I can't come up with that much funny stuff. I didn't this time either.

Top Ten rejected desserts for the Thai leadership

1. Coupcakes.
2. Coupstard
3. Insurrection Pie
4. Coup d'etat flambe
5. Prime Mister upsidown cake.
6. Coup Lime Pie
7. Peach Pecan Coupbler
8. Chocolate Chip Coupkies
9. Coupberry pie
10 Lemon Couprangue Pie



Tuesday, September 26, 2006

The one where Chad repents


I have still not received my Counting Crows “August and Everything After” CD. If you remember, I wrote about it a while ago. It was stolen from my wedding reception 10 years ago. I thought I'd get the ball rolling.


I stole something when I was in the third grade. It was sometime in the neighborhood of 1983 or 84. I was always a decent kid I think, I didn't normally steal or go out of my way to cheat somebody out of something. It just sort of happened. We were lined up at the doors ready to go out to recess. A teacher commanded our attention and asked a simple question.
“Did anyone lose a watch on the playground?


I don't know why, but I raised my hand and said I had. I hadn't.
She then asked the logical thing of me. “Can you describe it?”
I blurted out, “Yeah, it was a calculator watch. She reached in her pocket and handed me a calculator watch. No more questions. I was not the owner of an ill begotten calculator watch. What were the odds? In hindsight, quite high as the 80's were prime time for calculator watches.


It goes without saying that the real owner found themselves missing a watch. The lie got deeper and deeper and I found myself worried sick about. I'm sure the watch had been a gift and I knew they missed it. I didn't know how to get out of the lie. I never got caught. To this day I still feel bad about claiming the watch. I also remember who it had belonged to. With that said, I'm buying one on Ebay right now and will seek out this person, 20+ years later and give it to them. Heidi G. Prepare to get your watch back.

Yeah, I know there are some nicer more expensive watches. I'm just trying to replace one I took, not become a friggin saint. Oh yeah, I'm also going to give it to them after I'm done using it in a couple shots for a short I'm working on. I got it used in 84' so will they!

The one where Chad posts a picture

My thoughts on this 78rpm album cover.

1. You can't do that any more.
2. Thankfully

I personally found this offensive but not so offensive I can't look at it and get a good laugh. As much as society sucks, we have sucked worser. Man, can you imagine the fallout today if this was "Mohammed sings songs for little American Infidels?"




It could have been this moment when America changed course.

Monday, September 25, 2006

The one where Chad chides NBC

I have been reading some reviews for the new NBC SCIFI show, "Heroes".

I liked it better when it was called "Misfits of Science".





Thursday, September 21, 2006

Fake news by Chad #11

Patient Zero has been found in the frightening E-coli scare. Investigators have narrowed the hunt for the source of the deadly bacteria to one man. Todd Eberson, a migrant worker from Massachusetts working in southern California spinach packing plant. As it turns out, Mr. Eberson's lack of personal hygiene is the cause. For the few weeks he worked at the unnamed plant, Mr. Eberson had not been washing his hands after using the bathroom. When asked why he wasn't cleaning his hands he stated that the soap the company provides makes his hands dry and itchy.


“If it was such a big deal to wash my hands, why didn't anyone tell me? We should have seen a video on that or something.”


It is not known at this time whether charges will be pressed against Mr. Eberson. He has since been shown the video and is under strict bathroom use monitoring.





The one where Todd makes a PSA

EXCLUSIVE VIDEO OF SPACE DEBRIS.
As part of the Atlantis mission, they were deploying a spokesman for the Ad Council. They were shooting a PSA about the dangers of space pollution. People caused all that space trash and people can stop it. Atlantis stopped over at the International Space Station to pick up "native-american" Vinny "Iron Eyes" Cody and shoot the spot during a space walk.

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

Fake news by Chad #11

Patient Zero has been found in the frightening E-coli scare. Investigators have narrowed the hunt for the source of the deadly bacteria to one man. Todd Eberson, a migrant worker from Massachusetts working in southern California spinach packing plant. As it turns out, Mr. Eberson's lack of personal hygiene is the cause. For the few weeks he worked at the unnamed plant, Mr. Eberson had not been washing his hands after using the bathroom. When asked why he wasn't cleaning his hands he stated that the soap the company provides makes his hands dry and itchy.


“If it was such a big deal to wash my hands, why didn't anyone tell me? We should have seen a video on that or something.”


It is not known at this time whether charges will be pressed against Mr. Eberson. He has since been shown the video and is under strict bathroom use monitoring.





Wednesday, September 20, 2006

The one where Chad makes the same Chavez joke again

I'm so stupid. I spelled Chavez, Chaves "s". I had already pinged Technorati. I'm posting this again because I want the sweet sweet Technorati traffic. Now I just feel stupid. In hindsite, the joke isn't even that funny. My stupidity is the funny part now.

"Hugo Chavez calls Bush 'Devil'"
Bush retaliates by pushing Chavez of the monkey bars. More as the story develops...

Not true. I'm not going to write any more about this.




Plan 4 News special update...

"Hugo Chavez calls Bush 'Devil'"
Bush retaliates by pushing Chavez of the monkey bars. More as the story develops...

Not true. I'm not going to write any more about this. I'm an idiot and can't spell.




Premier of "The Last Dance"

About a year and a half ago (7 in internet years) , Todd and I decided to get off our asset's and do some film work. We devised a loose plot and no script then filmed it. Not really film, Digital 8. Well it took me a year and a half to finish it (4 months in film making years). The biggest reason as I mentioned, Loose plot, no script etc. We had fun and we learned a lot and that's the real reason for doing it. So here it is, "The Last Dance" Oh, by the way, if you watch this and say, "Wow, they stole that" or "I've seen that someplace before" your absolutely correct. We stole like hell in the name of paying homage.

* Edit * I can't help but think that even if we had finished this a year ago I might not have done anything with it. Youtube was not as big and I wasn't blogging as much as I am now so it makes sense to do it now. Thanks Youtube. Your the grandest.





Tuesday, September 19, 2006

The one where Todd rapes the Parker Brothers


Isn't the game SORRY just PARCHEESI with a different name? I'm sure they would have tried to market it as PARCHEESI but the title was too ethnic for the American consumers and of course they would have had to pay for the rights. So the Parkers change the look slightly, and change the name, but it’s the SAME game. Meanwhile, some Pakistani entrepenuer with hopes of marketing this game from his homeland and maybe making it big in the land of opportunity, gets crushed by the corporate fat cats! What about paying me for the rights guys? SORRY buddy, we decided to put out a different game called, well, Sorry. And the poor guy goes belly up. But what does old Mr. Money bags care; as long as he has his plush hotel penthouse overlooking the Boardwalk.
Oh, don't get me started on MONOPOLY. Picture this: you’re a kid growing up, you’re not rich by any means. You have your own room, and that’s all you really want out of life. Now the landlord comes home one day all excited because his wife just won a bundle in a beauty contest enough to put a down payment on his dream: a hotel on his modest Virginia Ave. property. And out of the blue BAM! He raises your rent, Dad’s in jail, he can’t get out for a while, no help there. Your single mom can’t afford the higher rent, she’s a receptionist at the Marvin Gardens office building a few blocks away. It doesn’t pay squat! She doesn’t even have a car. So now, you gotta go live on Baltic Ave. on the other side of the tracks. You’ll never have the same opportunities there; the best you’ll probably ever manage is maybe get a life-sucking job at the water works.

Monday, September 18, 2006

The one where Chad talks about spinach


Mmmm, spinach. I love spinach. Now spinach is not so good for you (temporarily). This should not have caught us by surprise. We did have a guide in all this and we didn't listen to him.



Popeye.

Did you ever see popeye eat a bag of spinach? No! It was canned spinach! We went astray. Turn back to the old way's of canned spinach goodness! Why didn't we listen? We all watched him squeeze open cans and suck it up with his pipe. We saw the strength and the wonders he did, but still we turned from the way's we knew. Repent and go back to the can! 109 allready. How many more must become sick?


If I was a guy buying stocks in spinach right now, I'd invest in Allen's spinach. They make "Popeye's" spinach and its canned. Buy spinach. Canned. It's the only natural way.



Mr. V fills in for the Man in the fire

Vintage is to lazy to post his own video. Here it is. Great. He's a star. He also doesn't wash very often. YOU SUCK VINTAGE!







Plan 4