New Plan4 YouTube Channel

 A new era = a new channel. @plan5real on YouTube - Todd

Happy 2019!

So close!  We're almost ready to come back.  See you in 2020!

It's the Yearly Recap!

Well unfortunately "Dreaming it all up again" didn't pan out for half of 2015 and 2016.  Well guess what? Nobody blogs anymore.  If you're not making meme's (what is that word even?) you're not doing shit!

Here's to a productive Plan 4  heading in to the new year!

Enjoy the following 2015, 2016 clip show.

There isn't one.  I can't get in to the old YouTube Channel.

The one where Chad updates on the dog.

Since the 2006 rabies watch there has been an update worth mentioning.  Kiara the Husky died of old age.   During this 5 year hiatus Chad has also lost Mollie the Collie to uterine cancer. Have your pet spayed or neutered.

Now we have Mongo.  He's a mutt... So far he's been on his deathbed once or twice, had a run in with a porcupine and his face clawed up by the cat from the "Living Room Wars" video.

Good luck being Chad's dog. You're going to need it.

The one where Todd thinks it's still 2006

We here at Plan Four are shedding crocodile tears for the tragic loss of Australian television presenter and animal enthusiast, Steve "Crocodile Hunter" Irwin.  He is survived by his wife and two children.  One of which, his daughter Bindi, a very homely girl, who I imagine will only get less attractive as she ages, and will likely become one of the ugliest Australian women since Dame Edna, read an inspiring eulogy at the memorial service just before they put him down under.  CRIKEY!  We're gonna miss you Bruce.  G'day mate... G'day.

The one where Todd "pours one out on the curb"

Since some of references on here are so dated, I thought I would take a moment to remember those who are no longer with us.  (CED not pictured).

The one where Chad finds his Blogger password

I thought going back to the old Plan 4 Blogger posts would inspire me to write funny stuff again.  It did not... Why?

1.  We were not funny. At least, we were not always funny.  We posted EVERYTHING without discretion.  There is a reason TV shows only broadcast once a week.
2. I had horrible grammarz
3. You're and Your. Get it right Chad.
3.5 To and Too.  Geez man!
4. Some of it was actually offensive... What can I say, we lived in a different time.  It was 2006 man!

Also, "Blogging"  does anyone do that anymore? This thing was PRE FACEBOOK!?!?

What really grinds my gears!

You know what really grinds my gears?  Facebook pictures of white chicks doing gang signs.  WoW mobs.  Super Bowl commercials that don't live up to the 'superness' of the rest of the ads.  Cog debris.  Drivers who have the right-of-way and refuse to take it.  Deformed peanut M&Ms. People who misuse apostrophes. Viral videos. TV shows that run over 20 years, but don't get old until you realize they have been around 20 years, and then you're like, "I think I'll watch Extreme Home Makeover instead". That's what really grinds my gears.

We just have to go away for a while and dream it all up again...

Plan 4 is moving.

We are leaving Blogger and putting on our big boy pants and running it all with wordpress. We have our own domain, none of that .blogspt.com crap. The thought was that it would be nice to have some of the big boy features, like categories, trackbacks, socialbookmarking links, etc. Blogger is rolling that out now but we've already boxed most everything up and sent it over to the new house. Its actually all over there now, we just want tp put up the drapes before we invite people over. Jan 1 for sure. Probably sooner. The place is a mess while we unpack. The biggest reason we want to move is that wordpress is more conducive to growth in a world wide takeover fashion.

Fake news by Chad and Todd #14

Massachusetts - FBI agents uncovered what appears to be a new breed of terrorist sleeper cell. A COOKS safe house in down town Middleboro was where agents found a lab used for weaponizing peanut oil. The COOKS, (Culinary Order Of Killing Stuff) were on the verge of deploying what some experts are calling a sophisticated recipe for disaster. Agents are also quick to point out that this has nothing to do with the film “Recipe for Disaster” starring John Larroquette and Lesley Ann Warren.

The peanut oil has been chemically changed to be not only lethal to those with peanut allergies, but any human with skin.

Although COOK members had refined the process and had working weapons grade peanut oil, internal strife kept if from being deployed.

FBI representative Special Agent Todd Mulder explains, “ It seems that half of the group wanted to use it in the creation of a main dish, and some thought it better used in preparing a side dish. Even among the two sides there was disagreement as to what wine to serve with it. It's just a case of to many cooks you know?”

The one where Chad becomes "The guy who..."

I did it! I used a phrase first! You know phrases such as "...cup of shut the hell up..." and "...Few sandwiches short of a pic-nic..." These phrases have been around forever. Well, I made one up today. I Googled it and got 0 results. I think that's enough to go on record as "the guy who made it up".

here we go,

"Flaming cup of queer"

I'm the first. When Google spiders me again I'll show up as the one. The one.

The one where Chad gets the memo

I found this on my PC, I made it for a guy at work . If you have ever seen the movie "Office Space" you'll get it. If you have not seen it. Well, sorry, I can't fill your netflix queue for you. Copy and paste it into your preferred word processing application. Make it bigger, add graphics, add more lines, fax it, email it whatever. Enjoy.

TPS
COVER SHEET

Date____________
Date of filing______________
TPS origin date____________
Name of filer_______________
Filer name _________________
Filed by ___________________
Number of pages ___________
Number on last page ________

The one where Chad talks Vista.

I have to apologize. Vista was late because of me... I insisted that Bill give it to me on floppy disk. Not 1.44mb disks either but 5 1/4 disks. Here is the package it came in.

The install will take a while.

The joke here is that Vista is big.

Vista
Microsoft

The one where Chad makes slogans

People make a lot of money creating slogans. My problem is that I don't come up with good ones. Here is a list of slogans that didn't make me famous or rich.


"The world is our workplace, specifically the part of the world that exists in the 30 yard open
top dumpster behind K-Mart"

"Children: It's whats for dinner"

"I want to be uriney"

"Our Product is the best: SOLD AS IS"

"You've found a winner, but it's not us"

"Be the best, make up for our worst"

"Dependability, Organization, Value, Pride. Not here buddy."

"Our Skill cannot be any more overvalued"

"No, no we can't"

"When nobody wants to be disappointed. Nobody counts on us"

"There are people who can do the job better than us, let us show you how"

"You need it done now, Oh, yeah, see, thats not exactly how we work"

"You need it done and you need it done right. Your asking to much."

"Success. Aim Lower."

"You chose us?"

The one where Chad cries tears of joy.

Today is a special day. A day my mouth has been waiting for and my body has been dreading. Today folks, is Tim Hortons day!

Today is the day that in Newport, the first local Timmy's is opening. Wow! to think a Timmys close to me! I feel like I've moved to the big time eh. I feel like I'm in Moose Jaw. This is the biggest thing since they repaved Rt. 2.

I'll be going over later to get a box of something or other and maybe a coffee. I hope to take Constable Frasier over with me for a couple cool photo ops. I hope they have some nice Tim Horton free giveaways. Kind of like the healthcare system.

Remember, everyone is Canadian on Tim Hortons day!

The one where Todd talks about sleep

People say, "I'm going to sleep now," as if it were nothing. But it's really a bizarre activity. "For the next several hours, while the sun is gone, I'm going to become unconscious, temporarily losing command over everything I know and understand. When the sun returns, I will resume my life." If you didn't know what sleep was, and you had only seen it in a science fiction movie, you would think it was weird and tell all your friends about the movie you'd seen. "They had these people, you know? And they would walk around all day and be OK? And then, once a day, usually after dark, they would lie down on these special platforms and become unconscious. They would stop functioning almost completely, except deep in their minds they would have adventures and experiences that were completely impossible in real life. As they lay there, completely vulnerable to their enemies, their only movements were to occasionally shift from one position to another; or, if one of the 'mind adventures' got too real they would sit up and scream and be glad they weren't unconscious anymore. Then they would drink a lot of coffee. And then I puked up hot dogs.

The one where Chad says "I'm not dead"

I have not posted in a while. The lack of posts is not because I have not wanted to, or had good material but because I did not want to nor did I have good material. Oh. Wait. Actually I was on vacation. Now that I'm no longer on vacation I have that "I don't want to get back to work" mentality.

Thanksgiving was great, I ate tons, I had all the pie I wanted and then I puked up hot dogs.

How about some previews? I'm working on a "Heroes" post. Don't expect much new to come of it, that show is great and everyone knows it.

Todd has some cool stuff "in the can" as we Pro's like to say.

I have not found Heidi G's current location yet but I think I will this month. ( not likely as I like the watch so much I think I'll keep it.)

I think we are due for a mysterious Man in the fire post. Probably something to do with a certain MMORPG...Wait, just had a great idea. Don't want to spoil it.

The premier of the Constable Frasier show! (currently in contract negotiations with my dog) The set is built. Frasier is busy now with hunting season.

Speaking of dog, she will be on the outside this month so look forward to the big dog release party.

So there you have it, despite the rumors, I'm not dead.

The one where Todd posts a "holiday" Top Ten

TOP TEN "Signs You've Eaten Too Much"

10. You ate the turkey, the pop-up thermometer and the plastic net

9. Last thing you remember is positioning your open mouth behind a dump truck full of yams

8. All your silverware is worn down to tiny stumps

7. While picking your teeth, you dislodge an angry construction worker

6. The green bean casserole is waving a white flag of surrender

5. This morning, the display on your bathroom scale read "Good Lord!"

4. You now have an butt the size of Plymouth Rock

3. People keep looking at you and saying, "I thought the Macy's Parade was over"

2. Your relatives can't go home because they're stuck in your gravitational field

1. You're sweatin' gravy, my friend!

The one where Todd posts... something

A FUZZY MEMORY by Jack Handey

One Thanksgiving my parents did something I don't know if I can ever forgive them for. We were eating our turkey dinner when I suddenly realized I hadn't seen my pet turkey all day. "Where's Mister Gobble?" I asked. Dad seemed confused. "Mister Gobble?" "Yes," I said. "My turkey. The one I picked out at the supermarket, and then after he thawed out I made him do a funny little turkey dance. Mister Gobble." Dad's silence said it all. We were eating Mister Gobble! I ran crying from the table and locked myself in my room. Later, Dad knocked on the door and said he had some dessert for me. When I opened up the door, I couldn't believe it. It was a slice of Pumpkie, my pet pie!

It seems Thanksgiving went unnoticed at P4 so I just thought I would throw this up a couple of days late. Pretty lame.
dte

The one where Chad posts about food and seeks Todd's guidance

**Blogger killed this post, I had to go back through after spell check inserted the new words in the middle of other words. Good luck reading it**

I brought clam chowder to work. Clam Chowda. I think as a Mainer its shame I don't eat more traditional New England fares. I'm sure Todd will have something to say about all this. He's a food guy.
Todd, edit in blue or red, just like we used to.


Chowders

Fish - If the rest of your family doesn't dig on Fish Chowder neither will you. I do love it though. Haddock if you can, just make sure its a whitefish. No matter the color of the fish, there is not enough connective tissue in fish to stand up to the long simmering process needed for some rich chowder.



Clam - Same thing here. Thankfully it comes in cans. Of course you need an electron microscope to find the clam chunks. I will take microscopic clam chunks over to much clam any day Especially if the clam shucker gets the junk parts of the clams in. Like clam necks.
Clams in a can are already cooked, so why would you continue to cook them in your chowder turning them to something resembling silly putty that was left in a drawer since Reagan. Get a clean screwdriver and some nice fresh clams. Talk to your fishmonger, devlop a relationship, even if you have engage in the dreaded "small" talk. You want the freshest you can get, make a friend there on the other side of the piles of crushed ice, he won't steer you wrong.

There are alot of recipes for "New England" Clam chowder all producing different textures and flavors. But keep your damn tomatoes out of there. "Manhattan" good movie, bad chowder.

Seafood

Lobster. I like lobster but frankly its not a must have for me. I built lobster traps and painted buoys for a lobster fisherman. I ate a lot of lobster. It did lose its special quality for me. A good way to have lobster for me is in something else. Specifically something cheaper like lobster cakes or stew. This is where we stray away from the chowder category and go straight to Bisque. There is no potatoes and it is usually a puree to retain the same consistent texture from the first spoonfull to the last gulp as you tip the bowl up to you lips to glean every bit of lobstery goodness.

Fish - I like haddock and a few other types of fish. Problem is that sellers frequently rename fish. You are not always assured your going to get what you thought you were asking for. Take "Scrod" for example. Who knows? It could be this or it could be that. Scrod isn't a fish. Just order a whitefish. Tilapia, Red Snapper. If I want to get local loco, Cod maybe. Again, ask your fishmonger what is FRESH and you you will hit a homerun everytime. And ask him for some of that crushed ice in the bag. Especially if you have more than a 15 minute drive home.

Mackerel - These are better off by themselves. They taste good but are oily. The best part about mackerel is fishing for them. I say the best part is throwing them back.

Clam -I prefer clams in stew rather than steamers, but nothing beats a clam fritter. Or as I call them, clam cakes or JJs, which is the name of the seafood shack where I first discovered these artery clogging meteorites.

We also got Cod, Stripped bass, Mussles, Crab, bluefish, flounder etc etc. Lots of junk from the sea. Like kelp, which is used in literally thousands of products.

Cakes and stuffed stuff

Clam - Clam cakes or "Fritters" if your from The Cape. I have a deep fryer at home just for making clam fritters. What a home made fritter is missing is the mix of other flavors from the over used grease at your local shack. When I make mine at home I put them in a paper sack so I get the greasy window effect. Last time I was at shaws I could not find the batter mix I used to get. Bummer. Get yer clam cakes ready-made in the brown bag with the dark stains that indicate freshness.

Stuffed Quahog - Places that are not there any more, "Alice's". Alice's restaurant (not the one from the song) was where I had my first stuffed Quahog. A Quahog is a big ass clam that has been emptied and filled back up with a special stuffing made with different stuff, most importantly clam bits. This was in Mass. Stuffed Quahog isn't all that popular in Maine. Shaws carries a store brand "stuffed clam" that's not all bad. The one I had recently had some bacon bits. I enjoyed that. Right down the street from where I am sitting is the Hideaway Lounge, which serves 2 varieties of these stuffed lovelies. The Standard Stuffed Quahog and what is called the "Hideaway Hog" The shell is standard but the stuffing is almost always regional. The SQ at Hideaway has clam or quahog bits, and they add lingucia and chourice(that is spelled and pronounced several different ways) both are a Portuguese pork sausage that used to be VERY regional around here, until that damn Emeril started blabbing about it. The Hideaway Hog is the same only add lobster, fish, shrimp and whatever they have lying around the kitchen that day. Served with a lemon wegde and two pats of butter. They are tasty, and dirt cheap, at 1.95, add a 1.50 draft beer and you got a meal that beats any drive-"thru" in price and taste any day.
Non Seafood

New England Boiled Dinner - vegetables (cabbage, carrots, onions, etc) and salt pork. Whenever my kids gag on something at the dinner table I try not to get to upset. The taste of salt pork did just that to me as a kid. I hated it.

Linguica - The different nationalities brought different things to the table in New England. This sausagey delight comes from the Portuguese folks. This one I eat quite a bit. Buy it, fry it up, slice it, dice it whatever. It's not a breakfast sausage, but it is a little sweet. NOT a breakfast sausage???!!! WhatderyouNUTS! Make an omlette(with fresh eggs) and stuff it with diced not ground linguicia that has been browned, and add the cheese of your choice, but a Kraft single or the equivalent is all you need, we are trying to showcase the linguica here not some fancy Brie. You will end up with what is the most tasty breakfast ever! (the exclamation points will now cease, **edit** (until the end of the post) my apologies, I hate reading them as much as you)


None animal foods
Maple Syrup. I've heard that Vermont is the largest consumer of Maine maple syrup. It gets rebranded as Vt .Made. If you've never had real maple syrup you may not like it. It hardly bares any similarity to the "Maple flavored goo" you buy in a store. Better yet, get some spiles and make your own. Very interesting legislature on this very topic, http://www.leg.state.vt.us/docs/legdoc.cfm?URL=/docs/2006/bills/intro/S-035.HTM
I find Mrs. Butterworth attractive, however her syrup (notice my ommision of the modifier: maple) would be better utilized as an adhesive for a welcome mat, or some other humorous household or office chore. Also the now retired "Vermont Maid" was also very hot. Unlike actual vermont "maids" which are usually unshaven, tree huggin (cause no man would touch that) gals who tend to hang around with other maids, if you know what I mean.
Fiddle Heads - Fiddle heads are immature fern plants that have yet to unroll and spread out. If you find an area that has had water but that's now receded that's a good place to start. Prepare them like you would spinach. If I remember correctly, the immature ferns with a V shaped stem are the ones you want, not the o shaped stem. Fiddle heads are seasonal. - spring Never tried them, I have had dandelion greens though.

Potatoes - We got billions of them.
I prefer Alaska myself, sorry Chad.
*edit* Blue Berries - We got trillions of them I think my dad is keeping the blueberry farms in buisness, he's been eating 2 blueberry muffins everyday since Nixon.
*edit* Apples - We got millons of these. The only thing I can say is that the apples taste best after the first frost hits them. I just finished off ½ peck of Mac Intosh apples in less than a week, I love Fall.

*edit* Cranberries -I almost got a little to "Maine" with this. Keeping with the New England food thought, lets not forget cranberries. I'll let Todd fill you in on those. Don't buy Wisconsin "berries" buy Cape Cod Cranberries they are actually red. And, um, add lots of sugar.

Game Animals

Deer - Venison is good but don't expect it to taste like steak. The older the deer the tougher the meet. A good eating deer is a young one. Don't poach one out of season. By poaching I mean shooting one in winter for instance. I hear the meet tastes off because of the winter diet of cedar tips and frozen fungus. That's Chad's turf, I'll steer clear of deer.

Moose - A moose tastes more like beef than deer does but its harder to get. Not that it's harder to shoot, that's as easy as shooting the family dog. Harder to get because you have to know someone who "Hunted" one. Again, I'll defer to Chad, since the one moose I ever saw in the wild was running down Chad's driveway at the time.

Bear - Greasy. Its ok, but I've never been a fan. Plus bear hunting requires a lot of work and I suck at hunting. Then there's the whole, human remains found in bear dung, thing.

Ruffed Grouse - Mmm, These little birds are nothing but breast. They taste good, especially if they feed on apples. It also helps that they are easy to clean. Step on the wings, pull the feet, breast up, and the bird pulls in two pieces. Take a sharp knife and cut the breasts off the bone. Be sure to pull out the bird shot. Always wanted to bread and fry me up some grouse.

Duck - Never had wild duck.
Greasier than Bear. The skin makes for some tasty, cracklin's though.
Wild turkey - Haven't had this yet either but I hear its a little tougher and gamier than our butter ball conditioned palates are used to.
Leave your Norman Rockwell expectations at the door and you might really enjoy a wild Tom.
Game Fish

Trout - Sadly this is becoming harder to get as the native stock is dwindling. Pan fried trout with fiddleheads and butter is a delicacy. Wash it down with some wild turkey, and I might try it, not a big fan of "slow" muscle fish.

Todd will step into this post I hope. He will also steal the show as that is his "thing". I just appreciate the bi-line props before I even sang a note. Color me flattered.

The term "take for granted" can not be used about something you know nothing about, only about things that are close. Personal. Something you encounter every day, or say, every week, or say, every Saturday night. I think you see where I'm going here Chad.
I had to add to ammend this post and call Chad out on his glaring omission.

Hot Dogs and Beans.
"Boston" Baked Beans to be exact. It's 10pm on Friday night as I type this, and our beloved grandmother has her beans soaking as I type these very words. When they finish their bath sometime tomorrow morining they will be prepared in the slow cooker or "crock pot" as traditional Boston "baked" beans. The crock in the wood fired brick oven has been replaced by the ceramic slow cooker, a much safer way to cook beans if you ask me.
These famous beans will be served at the equally famous "Saturday night supper". A tradition in our family, since oh man, Hoover, I guess. put it this way, I'm pretty sure the Red Sox were World Champs during the first Saturday night supper. The staple of the meal are the afforementioned beans and always hot dogs, All varieties, including Chad's favorite, the "red" hot dog. Other sides might be homemade rolls, cole slaw, carrot/rasin "salad, Ginny's awesome devil'd eggs. I eat those and I actually feel, satanic. To the point that I have to limit myself to 1, 2 at the most. They are tasty. Hmmm, some sides have been added in my generation, you know lame stuff like Kraft dinner, which takes about 4.2 nano seconds to make, and costs about 5 dollars per metric ton. More efficient? Yes. But look what you have to sacrifice: Flavor, Texture, A longer life, and it doesn't even make you fart, what a Gyp. I'll take the $1.19 bag of white beans that takes 2 days to prepare, any day of the week, except Sunday through Friday, because. . . Live from Carmel, it's SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!